Okay, the confetti has fallen, someone is headed to Disney World, and you just took a shower. As you head to what should be an outrageous celebration, you start to think about your first cigar.
For now, let's just assume that insanely expensive cigars aren't yet at hand. Let's leave that to your personal concierge for now. At the moment, you only have your current humidor. Here are the sticks we would start grabbing.
Kiss your daily driver goodbye—it's time for real luxury. The ultimate super sports car for the ultimate super sports athlete (unless, you know, you're a lineman, in which case we recommend renting a front-end loader with a huge scoop for true comfort). Featuring double-fermented Cuban-seed fillers, you're gonna love it.
Did we say buy a car? If you own the franchise, why not buy a plane? Forget those six-figure scrubs who block for you and distract opponents while you score—head to the skies, baby! Avion is French for "plane," and this stick from Tatuaje will lift you up with big flavor (cocoa, espresso) and solid strength.
Did you destroy the opposition? Then you should smoke something to celebrate! Remember to visit your victims in the hospital (or the graveyard, depending on how hard you went). The stick comes in either C-4 or TNT. What's your style, old school or new school? The choice is yours.
On the field, you seemed to possess superhuman abilities. Actually, come to think of it... your muscles looked almost... "enhanced." Surely, you're a spellcaster. The NFL forbids the use of performance-enhancing drugs, so there's no other explanation. Make a fireball from your fingertips and light up this once 90+-rated cigar brand.
Well hell—we had to have at least one luxury cigar on this list, right? Get your crew a box of these to make them feel "baller" with you. You've earned it by standing behind them all these years (not supporting you or being loyal to you, but literally standing behind you in photographs).
Anyway, congrats on the win.
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