Let me just say that I am a newbie. Don't rake me over the coals for this. This is just my interpretation of my new love.

I always come home from Jerry's cigars with a cigar that I did not intend to buy. No matter how much research I do online, Jerry always has a different, and much better, option. No matter what Cigar Aficionado says; Jerry has a cigar that is twice as good and half as expensive. So, with my new and un-researched cigar in my hand, I begin the greatest process of all – the cigar process.

You see, I firmly believe that cigars were invented just so men could slow down. They were tediously constructed so that the only way to fully enjoy them would be to stop everything, relax, and take in the world one puff at a time. And that is the ultimate cigar process. Because even though I may only spend 30 or 45 minutes actually "smoking", the cigar has given me a couple of hours all alone in a world of pure relaxation.

First, I go out to my porch where I hold and smell it. You know how you hold a newborn and smell their heads? It is something like that. Some people might think I have an unnaturally close relationship to my cigars. Then I cut it. Cutting a cigar is like opening a good bottle of wine. I am always a little sad that the bottle is open, but I am extremely happy that I get to sample what is inside. Then, after the cut, I lick the cut end. I don't really know if you're supposed to do this or not, and I don't care, because it's so good to me. The taste and the tingle of the fresh tobacco on my tongue takes me away to another place and gives me that extra incentive (as if I needed it) to smoke this cylindrical masterpiece. Next I light; usually uneven. I'm not that good yet, so the burning wrapper looks like a little skyline surrounding the ash. Then I smoke. I can't describe it here. There are no words. You guys know what I mean or else you would not be reading this. It is like you get to take in your first kiss, your wedding day, your best birthdays, your best friends, and a little bit of heaven in every puff. Then, when it's all said and done, I can't just toss the nub and walk inside. I have to sit. I just spent over an hour enjoying all the best of God's creation rolled into a tube, so now I sit and enjoy all of his creation that is not rolled up.